March Challenge: Week 2

This week was much better than last. I’m starting to feel less like I’m white knuckling through every day and more like I’m naturally motivated. Maybe it’s more sunlight due to day light savings, maybe it’s just an effect of time passing after a bad week, maybe it’s just a temporary lightness and I’ll come crashing down come Monday morning, but as of this writing, I’m feeling good.

Monday

Intentional exercise: Today I went back to video 2 in the Couch to Confident video series I began last week. Video 2 focuses on sun salutations and I felt I could use a refresher on the basics and the intention of this sequence of movements. Besides, I felt like last week I kinda half assed all the videos anyway. Literally just going through the motions. - So this week I decided to revisit with a stronger intention.

Stairs: On Mondays I work from home, so I did go up and down the stairs to my 3rd floor walk up to take out the trash, the recycling, grocery shopping for lunch.

Take a break away from my desk at lunch: Yes! I took this time to swing by the grocery store and enjoy some sunshine.

Free Snack abstinence / 2 alcoholic drink max: Yes! Zero drinks and zero bad snacks.

2 liters of water min / Morning vitamins: Yes! I’m so glad I incorporated this part into the challenge. I have been known to drink only coffee while I’m working so it’s good to get back into the habit of drinking water.

Flossing / skincare routine: Yes! Some people reading this might relate to the struggle of washing your face before bed and flossing twice a day and others might read this and think this is basic taking care of yourself and I should already have this mastered. To those people I say, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Overall Score: 6/6

Tuesday

Intentional exercise: Two mile walk plus a stair run in Prospect Park!

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Stairs: See above baby

Take a break away from my desk at lunch: ah… kind of? I had a doctor’s appointment so I was about a half hour late to work, which I am counting as time away from my desk since I still left for the day on time.

Free Snack abstinence / 2 alcoholic drink max: Yes! I said no to free snacks but YES to free pizza. It was covered in beautiful veggies and delicious. I actually ordered lunch and then the pizza showed up so I saved the quinoa and veggies I ordered for lunch for dinner so I could enjoy some pizza.

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In case you were not sure, while some weight loss would please me for the sake of improving my running performance, and I have certainly taken decades to accept my body (and my acceptance is imperfect and an ongoing process) and fight the fat phobic messages I once embraced while I was deep in my eating disorder — this is a food positive, fat positive, fitness blog. You can absolutely be fat and fit, and you are more than your body anyway… Don’t forget it.

And if you disagree, please feel free to keep that shit to yourself. Always remember that it cost $0 to mind your own damn business.

It’s a constant inner struggle to love myself and there will be good days and bad, but my mission is to be loving to myself and to others and most of all, to pizza. Seriously though, to anyone who might have known me in my early 20’s: I am truly sorry if I ever said any of that anti-fat bullshit to you or in front of you. I was a lost child. It’s been a journey.

2 liters of water min / Morning vitamins: Yes.

Flossing / skincare routine: Yes.

Overall Score: 6/6

Wednesday

Intentional exercise: At my doctor’s appointment Tuesday I had my birth control implant removed (going hormone free for a while, just to see how I feel) so I had some soreness and a small incision that is healing in my arm. There was some scar tissue around it and she was surprised by how difficult it was to take out and told me to expect more soreness than last time (this is my second one). Originally I planned on going to Felipe’s 8 am yoga again but I thought it might be best to skip anything too arm intensive. So, it was another 2 mile walk to the train in the morning. I’m loving walking through the park again in the mornings. I saw some peacocks sitting in a tree as I walked by the Brooklyn Zoo and learned that peacocks fly… which I guess I knew kind of… but had not really internalized… Don’t you think the tail would create a lot of drag? Also… does this mean that the peacocks are CHOOSING to live in the zoo? Why have I never seen one anywhere else in the park like those parrots you find all over Brooklyn?

Stairs: Yes - Why isn’t it getting easier? I feel like there is no air in the stairwell at the office… like… I live in a third floor walk up, and I have been to the 4th floor… I know the floors are higher at the office but not THAT much higher… why is it so much harder at the office than at home?

Take a break away from my desk at lunch: Uhg, no… I might fail at this pretty much every day, but I have been working on leaving on time and only being 30 minutes early instead of an hour and a half so at least that is something. I love my job. We’re in a tough time right now but ultimately I think you are a sucker to work more than 40 hours a week if you don’t love what you do… and I might be a sucker… but I really do love it… even when I hate it…

Free Snack abstinence / 2 alcoholic drink max: Yes.

2 liters of water min / Morning vitamins: Yes.

Flossing / skincare routine: Yes. - I have a bit of a hormonal acne issue, and I’m finally seeing my skin improve around what I call my beard and my temples.

Overall Score: 5/6

Thursday

Intentional exercise: When I cancelled yoga for Wednesday I signed up for a Thursday Monster Cycle class. When I left the office Wednesday I wanted to cancel but I didn’t have cell service that second on the train.. then I forgot.. I think it was my best self that forgot to cancel when my worst self that wanted to. It’s been a while since I’ve done spin and it really kicked my ass. I’ll be doing this at least once a week forever from now on because

1. It’s amazing and I truly forget about everything else while I am doing it.

2. I used to be better at this… it’s kind of a wake up call how hard it was.

Stairs: Yep.

Take a break away from my desk at lunch: No… It hurts me that I work through lunch every day, come in early and still have to feel guilty about leaving at 5 because it’s just not possible to get everything done anymore. When I go home Thursday I investigate within myself who do I think I am to be so unhappy. So ungrateful… I’m so lucky to work for a company where I like my manager (who the fuck actually likes their boss? Me. I do.) and make good money. Just three years ago my current salary was not even something I’d dare to dream of. There was a time when 40k seemed out of reach. How quickly we forget the struggle… So why am I still crying at my desk? It’s because I suck at my job now. It’s not that I suck. I am awesome, my team is awesome. But the job we’ve been given isn’t possible in 40 hours a week or 50 hours, 60, 70…

It sucks to suck. But! It doesn’t say ‘creative problem solver’ on my resume for no reason! Suddenly I understand the problem and now I can come up with some ideas to fix it.

Free Snack abstinence / 2 alcoholic drink max: Yes.

2 liters of water min / Morning vitamins: Yes.

Flossing / skincare routine: Yes.

Overall Score: 5/6

Friday

Intentional exercise: Another walk in the park and stair run. I have ideas I need to mull over. I found the path forward. I know how to fix everything that’s been killing me at work and as I run up those damn stairs again I repeat to myself what John Oliver said about automation in his recent segment about the future of work in America ‘Tasks not jobs.’ is my mantra this morning. What could your job be if you didn’t have all these dumb tasks? I know the answer to that question and I’ve determined the answer to saving my job is actually MORE automation… I know how to do this. I never should have doubted it.

Stairs: YES

Take a break away from my desk at lunch: No, but I spent a half hour in an ‘Ask Me Anything’ with the Executive Leadership Team of my company. I got even more ideas and it seems to me that while many of my coworkers are struggling with morale for different reasons, they understand that for many of us (me at least) the morale problem comes from the fact that it hurts to suck at your job, and apparently I am not the only one who suddenly feels like they went from being an expert to being an incompetent. I feel determined. This is the first day I don’t even come close to crying at my desk. I just needed a plan and now I have one.

Free Snack abstinence / 2 alcoholic drink max: Yes.

2 liters of water min / Morning vitamins: Yes but almost no… I got home and realized I had barely started my second liter of water. Luckily it’s Friday so I have a later bed time than normal. I make sure to finish the water while I watch Shrill on Hulu and enjoy exactly 2 cocktails. I made vodka with sparkling lemonade with rose oil and lavender chamomile ice cubes.

Flossing / skincare routine: Y

Overall Score: 5/6

Saturday

Intentional exercise: Yes! Another yoga video working my way back through the Couch to Confident series.

Stairs: Yes

Take a break away from my desk at lunch: Yes

Free Snack abstinence / 2 alcoholic drink max: Ye—oh… No, actually, 3 drinks.

2 liters of water min / Morning vitamins: Yes

Flossing / skincare routine: Yes

Overall Score: 5/6

Sunday

Intentional exercise: Lotus hour with Lizzy. <3

Stairs: Yep!

Take a break away from my desk at lunch: Yes because it’s Sundayyyyy

Free Snack abstinence / 2 alcoholic drink max: Yes, two bloody’s at brunch, and the snacks were the muffins I made yesterday. My new muffin recipe posted here! Do yourself a favor and make them.

2 liters of water min / Morning vitamins: Yep!

Flossing / skincare routine: Yep! Sunday I like to chill out with a face mask, take a bubble bath, shave whatever I might feel like shaving. Self-care Sunday is my favorite day of the week. I also got my first pedicure of the season and splurged on the ‘spa’ pedi. Linkin Park After Dark is my signature toe color.

Overall Score: 6/6

Amanda McCall